1. What is primal therapy? What might be its benefits, vs. dangers?
  2. The author seems to remember a lot of detail about a period in his life he claims to have also been under the influence of power psychiatric medication that caused short-term memory loss. Are his “memories” still reliable?
  3. The author writes about being sexually abused as a child; he also claims that the sexual abuse did not “make” him gay. What is the relationship between childhood sexual abuse and sexual orientation? Can the former ever influence the outcome of the latter? How might sexual abuse affect a person’s sexuality overall?
  4. Why might a gay man not want to admit to a history of childhood sexual abuse? What could be the consequences of not facing one’s own history of sexual abuse, specifically as a gay person?
  5. The author’s mother, a German, was in a communist concentration camp following World War II. Weren’t all concentration camps Nazi (National Socialist) camps? What is the difference between the two? How could a German have even ended up in a concentration camp?
  6. What is the responsibility of a memoirist to the people he writes about? Should the author have asked everyone that’s mentioned in his own book if they were okay with what he wrote? How might a history of generational trauma affect a memoirist’s decision not to ask for his family’s consent in writing about his history?
  7. Over the last several years there have been a number of laws enacted to protect the rights of gays. Is the topic of “gay rights” now passé? How does the current debate around transgender rights relate to what gays have experienced in past years?
  8. If the therapy described in this book was all that bad, why didn’t the author just leave? Did the author even have the “right” to sue his former psychiatrist for medical malpractice, considering he remained in the therapy for six years? Why might a person remain in an abusive relationship, specifically when the power differential is between a patient and their doctor?
  9. The American Psychiatric Association declassified homosexuality as a mental illness in 1973. How is it possible that a licensed psychiatrist was even treating someone for being gay well into the 1990’s? Could this kind of therapy happen today? Is this book still relevant?
  10. Despite extensive research and empirical evidence to the contrary, advocates of reparative therapy still claim that a person can change their sexual orientation from homosexual to heterosexual. What is the difference between same sex desire, which has been recorded in all cultures throughout time, and sexual orientation, specifically “homosexuality” and “heterosexuality,” whose binary was created only in the late 19th century? How might reparative therapy seek to change the latter, and not the former? What are the implications of this difference for a person who claims to have changed their sexual orientation?